What to expect from the Apple tablet, and why it will fail

What to Expect:

- 8-10 inch touchscreen
- Passive touch technologies in the screen, like a large capacitive screen on a phone
- Runs a modified version of the software that is present on the iPhone
- Emphasis on reading books and games
- Partnerships for book delivery from certain publishers
- 800-ish dollar price tag
- WIFI and a cellular connection provided somehow

Why it will fail:

An Apple tablet that follows the above formula is doomed to failure. And, if the current indicators are to be believed, it looks like we are looking at another AppleTV.

Let me start with the fact that this device is positioning itself in-between the iPhone and the Macbook. The issue with this positioning is that the above-mentioned tablet performs all the functions that you iPhone does (minus the phone) and really only shows any value in large screen applications like reading apps. On the other end, it doesn't perform half the functions of the base-line Macbook. But, it is going to be priced similarly to the Macbook. If you have a device that you need a bag to carry around, and you aren't going to be able to do half the things that your Macbook can do (for around the same price) why don't you just get a fucking Macbook?

Ok, so if Apple pulls a switch-a-roo and it ends up that they have adapted OSX in its desktop form to a tablet platform, it still has an uphill battle to overcome. That kind of experience needs handwriting recognition, and on an enlarged cellphone screen you aren't going to get a premium handwriting experience. Having owned tablets I can tell you that the only way that you can get a good handwriting experience is with an active touch screen, which will NOT be present in the tablet because it would make it considerably thicker. Remember, Apple is all about form over function. The tablet screen will have issues with interference when writing on the screen and wresting your wrist on the tablet. Apple also doesn't have any experience with handwriting recognition, and I highly doubt that they could write their own handwriting recognition engine in the time that they have been working on the tablet.

On the other hand, they could surprise us and it could be a device that is targeted at basic functions like e-mail, media, reading, etc. Basically, positioning itself in the same place that netbooks tried to position themselves against laptops. This may seem like a good idea for Apple, which has a platform where no device fills this area, but they would seem to not realize that that area is filled on every other platform, and very few people are living in a purely Apple ecosystem. Also, nobody except the fanatical are going to purchase a "netbook" that costs as much as a laptop and does so little.

Basically, Apple ends up with a device that is either an overgrown and over-expensive iPod, or and under capable and equally-as-expensive Macbook.

To touch on the other points, if they put an emphasis on games, them they will run into the issue where the device is so large that they might as well just use a laptop because it will have better games and it has better hardware. If they decide to put an emphasis on books, then they will run into the problem where someone can decide to get this device or get a kindle, and believe me, the Kindle will win every time because there is a 500 dollar difference.

So, in closing, when you are on the internet and people are talking about how whatever Apple announces tomorrow will revolutionize the way that people look at tablets, just remember that they said the exact same thing about the AppleTV. But, the Apple TV ended up being too expensive and and did too little to be a viable solution. It looks like, if Apple releases something that looks like what I described above, it will just end up falling into obscurity.

New Record, 21 Minutes

Well, I just wanted to take a sec and report that I have set a new record for sitting through an episode of Hannity. I made it a whole 21 minutes until I had to turn off the television. Normally I can sit through a ton of bullshit and hypocrisy, but Hannity seems to revel in it. This episode, they had that idiot of a woman at Arlen Spector's town hall on to comment about the attacks that the "left wing attack machine" was targeting her with. 

Just as a little bit of information, for those of you that don't know who this woman is. This woman basically showed up at Sen. Specter's town hall and ranted about how the government is "Dismantling the country" and how she doesn't want to see America turn into a "Russia" or socialist country. 

They started the segment with a few quotes about how she appears to be uneducated and is the poster child for the uneducated right wing town hall-er. Well, I hate to break it to you, but it's true. She is a complete moron. Just listening to her made me cringe. And during this whole thing Hannity is just egging her on, lapping up the bullshit. Socialist, really? Have any people nowadays actually looked up what Socialism is? Anyone? If any of these idiots had, then they would know that this health care bill is not Socialism at all. I just wish I could show up to one of these shows and just ask them point blank if they know what Socialism is. But, Hannity literally turns to her and says "The reason that everyone is so worked up about what you said is that it resonates with so many Americans." Really? Earlier, I was really mad that people could be so stupid that they just repeat everything that they hear from Rush Limbaugh and Fox News. But, after a while, I feel sad for them. They really do believe that they have the correct information. They really do believe that the government is dismantling this country. It's a sad thought. The even sadder thought is that these people vote. 

People like Sean Hannity that bring people onto his show, and use that show as a platform to spread misinformation should lose their show. There are people that really think the Sean has their best interests in mind, while he truly does not. There needs to be some sort of law where people who spread this kind of stuff have to have some sort of truth disclaimer, or have to identify themselves at the beginning of their show as a "radical right wing commentator with a truthful rating of 0 percent." I'm thinking kind of like we do with sex offenders in this country where they have to identify themselves. People that tune into Hannity might be lead to believe that he is not lying to them, and people need to know that he is.

Now we end yet another post where I start on topic and end somewhere completely different.

Tea Parties...

I seriously can't believe how people can believe that these tea-parties are not manufactured. It completely baffles me. The thing that really demonstrated this fact was seen in the interviews leading up to the tea-parties. Every person that came on in support of the parties plugged the word grassroots over and over. Almost like if they said it enough, it would become true. I mean, literally, they could be asked a question that had absolutely nothing to do with the tea-parties and they would find a way to mention the tea-parties and their "grassroots." That alone should be easy for people to see with little background knowledge.

Secondly, a vast majority of people in the protests are receiving a tax cut. So, when they come out and tell us to stop raising their taxes, WE AREN'T RAISING YOUR TAXES. Its amazing how ignorant people can be.

People had signs equating taxes to Socialism. I wish people would use a dictionary before they use words they are not familiar with. If you think taxes are the equivalent to Socialism, then you are a moron. There isn't a better way to say it. The Obama administration is rolling back the tax cuts to a Clinton-era level. Its even lower than the taxes were during the Reagan administration. So, are you all saying that we were living in a Socialist state under Reagan? That's what I thought.

People were also protesting taxes at all. They were saying all this garbage about how there should be no taxes at all. The hilarious part in all of this would have to be the fact that they were protesting in parks and public areas that are maintained with their taxes.

Also, it is disingenuous to argue that this protest was a grassroots movement. Fox News was plugging this protest every day. They literally were telling people where they were taking place, encouraging people to attend, and running ads about them. These events were sponsored by corporations. It was literally a protest arranged by the upper three percent of Americans who are getting tax hikes, and they are using the poor, uneducated masses to argue their case for them.

Thoughts on the DHS Report

In my latest fit of sadism I decided to turn on Fox News and see what was happening in the parallel universe most of their staff lives in. To my surprise, Hannity was on with a special guest Michael Steele. So, they decided to talk about the Department of Homeland Security report on "Right-Wing Extremism." This report for some reason has become a sort of "battle cry" for Conservatives; but it doesn't look like they have read the report at all. Anyone who even glanced over the report would know that the report does not concern Republicans in America. The report does not have anything to do with average Republicans. They make it seem like the report was warning the public about Republicans. THEY ARE NOT. When they refer to "right-wing" they don't mean the average Republican. They are referring to neo-nazi groups, religious hate groups, etc. Also, for those of you that don't realize it, Islamic Extremists are considered "right-wing extremists." Just answer this question, are you a terrorist? Are you a racist? Do you want to harm the US because our president is black? If the answer to the previous set of questions is no, then the DHS report DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU.

Ok, now that we have laid the ground rules, Hannity started talking with Steele about the DHS report and Steele actually said that he believed there were DHS agents taking down names to investigate people at the tea-parties. Wow. How stupid can you be. Well, thats it for this topic.

John McCain == Fail Whale?

Check out the image for the John McCain big news page on Huffington Post.

'Nuff said.

Just More Proof

Ok, I have been procrastinating my AI project for the last few days, and in my latest attempts I stumbled back to the website of one of my favorite bands, Electric Six. As I looked down the news page something caught my eye. They had a section of FAQ for 2009 that just blew my mind. I think that the first question really gives you an idea of who is actually in this band. Ill reproduce the question and answer here for all of you.

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Q. I am a music reviewer and I have just been given the responsibility of reviewing the new Electric Six album. I think Electric Six is a joke. Do you have any idea how my review should read?
A. Sure! Try this sure-fire template! It's worked dozens of times for people just like you:
Electric Six -- New Album
Aging Detroit pranksters determined to tell the same tired joke over and over again, even though it was never funny in the first place
You can imagine my surprise when I was told that Electric Six had a new record coming out. After all, their 2003 debut "Fire" should have been the only thing they were permitted to release and then they should have been taken out to a field and put out of their misery. Then imagine how surprised I was when I found out that they've had four albums come out since "Fire"! How?? More importantly, why???
Every song on this new album is just a watered-down version of their 15-minute-of-fame novelty hit "Gay Bar". Lead singer Dick Valentine sounds like a tired, bitter sideshow freak trying to be a third-rate Tom Jones. He spits out his inane, stupid lyrics with an idiotic bravado and he exudes an undeserved confidence that he clearly wouldn't have if he truly understood what a joke I think he is.
The rest of the band compliment Valentine's total lack of imagination. Every guitar riff on this new album is a watered-down homage to the repetitive twang of 2003 novelty hit "Gay Bar". Occasionally keyboardist Tait Nucleus chimes in with bleeps and blops designed to dupe the odd listener into thinking that these guys are capable of doing something interesting or intelligent, but no self-respecting music lover will ever take the bait. It's fine when the Killers, the Kills or LCD Soundsystem do it. It's not when Electric Six does it.
If there's any saving grace about this new Electric Six album, it is that it makes the listener profoundly grateful he is not in Electric Six. There's no way the people in this band are happier than I am. They think they are funny, but the joke is on them in the form of my review. I know about music. I know what's funny. And I'm going to call them on it. Somehow, some day, this review and others like it will put an end to Electric Six. Too much is at stake. What? No....mom...can it wait? I'm writing a music review....what? NO! I told you, I'll mow the lawn when I'm done with this....Jesus Christ, mom...I gotta finish this review and stop this band....mom, you know nothing about how important music is...I didn't get into knowing about music so I could mow your fucking lawn....Jesus, mom...and shut my fucking door on your way back upstairs....

What Will Happen Now?

So, I was browsing Engadget today and stumbled across a link to a ZDNet article. Someone decided to take the time and perform a fairly thorough performance analysis between Windows 7, Vista, and XP. When I was running Windows 7 on my HP Pavilion ZD8000 it seemed to be running faster than XP did, but I really didn't take the time to perform any benchmarks. Well, the tests that ran showed that Windows 7 was faster in over 90 percent of the tasks that were performed. That's really good news for Windows. Normally, the next iteration of an operating system brings bigger system requirements, and it seems like Windows 7 will run on older machines. Oh, also, the link to the article is below.

http://blogs.zdnet.com/hardware/?p=3236&page=2

Now, getting to my point. What will happen to the "I'm a Mac" ads? At the beginning, they were accurate and pretty funny. After the first handful of ads, they just became flat wrong and slanderous. What is going to happen when Windows 7 works with your devices out of the box (because the driver model between Vista and 7  are essentially the same)? What is going to happen when 7 doesn't run slowly and crash all the time because hardware has had the time to catch up to the software (also the fact that Windows 7 seems to run better on worse hardware)?What is going to happen when people learn that Microsoft has actually flooded an untold amount of resources into developing a solid OS? What are they going to have to complain about? I would hope that the ads would return to the olden days, where the ads told you the facts about Macs (they can run Windows, integration with Mac ecosystem, etc); but it seems that they fired the rational advertising people and they are hell-bent on just spewing slime on every competitor. 

I hope that the ads continue, but take on their old tone (but in the back of my head, I can see new ads still bringing up Vista, even after 7 has launched). All the problems that they mentioned with Vista were really launch problems that occurred years ago and have been solved over the last few years in the first place. But, I would love to see the ads take on their old feel. Those ads lit a fire under Microsoft's ass and it looks like they are posed to release an awesome piece of software. See, competition is actually good for us.

AirTran is Officially the Worst

Right now, I am writing this from a little nook I have carved out for myself in an airport in Orlando. So, this was supposed to be a nice little flight. I was supposed to leave Rochester at 2, arrive in Orlando at 4, catch a flight to Dallas at 6, then be in Dallas at 8ish. Well, Rochester went off without a glitch; but when I arrived in Orlando I realized that my flight to Dallas was delayed. The plane wasn't there, so I decided to watch an episode of Dexter. When I was done I saw that the plane had arrived. So, in preparation for a flight without any food I ran literally 100 yards to Burger King. I spent 10 minutes at Burger King (all I wanted was a large drink and fries). When I returned, the door to the plane was shut and the mildly retarded Cuban man working at the counter wouldn't let me on the plane. Now, I can understand the fact that once the door is closed, they aren't supposed to let anyone else on. I think its a security thing. But, the thing that pissed me off was the fact that they did not announce that they were boarding, or a last call for boarding over the intercom. AirTran KNEW that I was in the terminal. Its a connecting flight, they knew that I got on in Rochester, and that I got off in Orlando (that's what she said). I'm just very surprised that nobody though to page me at all. Also, how the hell did they board the plane in 10 minutes? Did they just call all zones? I'm also pretty sure that they shut the doors prematurely. Twenty minutes later, the plane was still at the gate. 

Well, looking past the fact that it doesn't look like AirTran knows how to operate an airline on a physical basis, lets see how their customer service does. I walked over to the AirTran customer service desk only to find four Puerto Rican gentlemen at the desk already. They were having trouble getting on a flight to Puerto Rico (all that I could get from my broken Spanish). One of the attendants was dealing with them, while another attendant was just sitting in the chair next to her. About five minutes later the man finally calls me over. I explained my situation and asked what the next steps were. He told me that the only way that I was going to get to Dallas was by transferring to Georgia and then going to Dallas. So, I tell him to do whatever he has to do. He then informs me that the next flight that he can get me out to is at six in the morning. Also, he tells me that he can only put me on standby, and that if I want to be guaranteed a seat on the plane, I need to fork over an additional seventy-five dollars. What the hell? I payed to get from point A to point B, I shouldn't have to pay an extra cent to be sure that I get to point B. I've basically given up at this point and just tell him to print the standby tickets. I then ask him where the airline is going to put me up. This is where I got angry. He informed me that because I missed the flight, the airline is not going to pay for me to stay anywhere. Now, I could understand that logic if the plane was on time, and I was late to the plane; but when your plane is delayed indefinitely and you rush boarding and don't even page someone who you KNOW IS IN THE TERMINAL, it stops being that persons fault. So, broken and battered, I wander back to the terminal.

Now, for the sprinkles on the top. I started scouting out a good place to pitch up camp for the evening. I look around and soon learn that there are no benches or places to sit without arm wrests. So, basically, sprawling out across seats is no longer an option. There are no power plugs ANYWHERE near the walls, so I end up having to camp out between seats that are back to back. I piled up all my bags against a pillar and kicked out all the old McDonalds wrappers from under the seats. So, here I sit, hopefully able to get to Texas tomorrow. 

AirTran is the worst, they don't care about their customers at all. I'm filing a complaint with the BBB (Better Business Bureau) in the morning. This simple journey has become a disaster.